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hymnal

Unger Conviction

Chaste Young Mennonites Pledge to Save Hymnal-Sharing for Marriage

August 4, 2022 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Thousands of young Mennonites at the annual ‘Chaste Your Future’ event came forward at the end of a stirring sermon by youth pastor Dan and pledged to save hymnal-sharing for marriage. “I know […]

Unger Conviction

That Hymn 606 Sure Gets Around

September 21, 2021 Andrew

AKRON, PA The Akron Mennonite church lobby was full of gossip this week about just where Hymn 606 has been spending her Sunday mornings for the past few months. “Did you hear about that Hymn […]

Unger Conviction

Long Forgotten Episode of ‘The Simpsons’ Eerily Predicts the New ‘Voices Together’ Hymnal

January 30, 2021 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Over the years, long running television sitcom The Simpsons has correctly predicted everything from smartphones to the election of Donald Trump. Well now you can add the new ‘Voices Together’ hymnal to that […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Discards Hymnals Because No One Can Read Music Anymore

September 15, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Second Mennonite Church of Newton, Kansas has decided to ditch their hymnals after it was discovered that not a single person in the congregation could read sheet music anymore. “Oh, sure, Mrs. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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