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health

Unger & Thirst

Local Potluck to Feature Delectable Array of Measles

March 29, 2025 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, TX The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is inviting everyone to stay after church this Sunday for a delicious potluck, including roast beef, mashed potatoes, and a delectable array of Jell-o salads and measles. “You’re not […]

The Daily Bonnet

Surge in Peanut Allergies Has Mennonite Church Handing Out Empty Paper Bags this Christmas

December 24, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After just way too many incidents in recent years, Central Kildonan Mennonite Fellowship has decided the only solution is to hand out empty paper bags to all the kids this Christmas. “We wanted […]

Unger & Thirst

Bean Salad Big Hit at Church Potluck

December 18, 2024 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Of all the options available at the East Chilliwack MB Christmas potluck this past weekend, the most popular, by far, was a salad consisting of black beans and edamame made by Ms. Erin […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Medicine Cabinet Filled with Brandy

October 24, 2024 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Area woman Ruth Penner, 71, felt a sniffle coming on his morning and decided she needed to check her medicine cabinet to see what she had in stock. “Ahh, I think this should […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Takes Extra Shot of Ozempic Before Lunch at Oma’s

July 23, 2024 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area man Cameron Hiebert has been trying to inject his way into good health for quite some time, but that hasn’t stopped him from devouring a nice plate of vereniki and formavorscht when […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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