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general conference

Unger Conviction

General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren

August 17, 2026 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Just as US President Donald Trump seems hellbent on starting trade wars (and real wars) around the globe, the Mennonite Brethren and Mennonite Church have inked a brand new free trade deal that […]

Unger Suspicion

MBs Rip Up Supply and Confidence Deal with GCs

September 4, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a shocking move this afternoon, Mennonite Brethren leader Jack Siemens pulled out of the agreement keeping the GCs as the most powerful Mennonite denomination in Canada. “We didn’t like how they were […]

Unger & Thirst

MennoCon23 Attendee Caught Skipping Session to Get BBQ

July 5, 2023 Andrew

KANSAS CITY, MO Mrs. Janzen, delegate from Oregon Mennonite Church, was caught skipping the afternoon seminar this Wednesday to get ahead of the rush at Arthur Bryant’s. “What do you expect?” said Janzen. “We don’t […]

Unger Conviction

GCer Wins Safe Passage Through Treacherous Fraser Valley Full of MBers

April 21, 2022 Andrew

GREENDALE, BC Art from Rosthern, self-proclaimed king of the GCers, was travelling through the Fraser Valley this week en route to Vancouver, where he heard he just might find the Holy Grail or at least […]

Unger Conviction

MBer Charges the Stage After GCer’s Mennonite Joke Goes Terribly Wrong

April 5, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON The tri-annual MB-GC ecumenical service and plautz awards were going smoothly this Sunday until Mr. Goertzen got up on stage and took a cheap shot at the MBers in the audience. “What do […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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