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furniture

Unger Conviction

Church Basement Chair Recruited To Help Change Lightbulb

August 16, 2024 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN How many Mennonites does it take to change a lightbulb? Two … plus one of those wooden church basement chairs. For centuries Mennonites have called upon the wooden church basement chair to […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s Installs New Extra Uncomfortable Furniture to Prevent Mennonite Men from Sitting Around All Day Drinking Coffee

January 7, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Albert Plett, 51, smashed the record at his local McDonald’s restaurant this week by becoming the first person ever to make it through five McNuggets and a handful of fries without […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Assembles Every Single Piece of Furniture in His Entire House with Just this One Allen Key

May 5, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Driedgers of Saskatoon just moved into a lovely new bungalow in Silverwood Heights and Dan Driedger, an accountant during the day, immediately set himself to the task of unboxing and assembling all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Landfill to Get their Hands on Some Free Mattresses

March 31, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENBACH, MB Ever since the Blumenbach Landfill announced that they would now be accepting mattresses, Mennonites across the region have been flocking to the site to both discard and acquire these precious items. “Once you […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

March 23, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB At faspa this week, James Dueck, 37, of Winkler scrambled out of the church gymnasium just as soon as he’d wolfed down his cheese curds and dills. The reason? He was sick and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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