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frugality

Unger the Influence

Bargain Hungry Mennonites Eager to Get Their Hands on Free Speech

September 21, 2025 Andrew

INMAN, KS Mennonites across Kansas were stirred into a frenzy this week after they heard that speeches were now free. “Even the thrift store doesn’t have free speech like this,” said Mr. Janzen. “I’ve never […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Celebrate Anniversary By Splitting Meal at Chicken Chef

August 24, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local couple, Bill and Anne Kliewer, will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this week by sharing a 3 piece meal at the local Chicken Chef. “What’s 15.95 divided by two?” wondered Bill. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman “Wins the Lottery” After Neighbour’s Clothes Blow into Her Yard

July 8, 2025 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON Mrs. Martin is feeling like she won the lottery this week after a particularly windy day blew all of Mrs. Schmidt’s clothes right into her yard. “This should keep the Martins supplied […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Wears 10 Layers of Clothes to Avoid Paying for Carry On Bag

June 29, 2025 Andrew

ST. CATHERINE’S, ON Mrs. Berg of St. Catherine’s, Ontario has successfully flown all the way to Abbotsford this week without a single person noticing her thick layer of clothes. “Got any bags to check?” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Mennonites Gather in Most Expensive Country in the World

May 29, 2025 Andrew

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND David Yoder was excited to return to the land of his ancestors this week for the Anabaptism 500-year anniversary, but as soon as he arrived, he got the sneaking suspicion that things must […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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