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Unger & Thirst

Chips Blamed for Kicker’s Accuracy Problems

June 7, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Canadian Football League announced big changes this afternoon after an abysmal performance by Blue Bombers kicker Sergio Castillo last night that was attributed to the presence of chips in the area. “From […]

Unger Games

Major League Baseball Announces New 16 Game Season to Compete with the NFL

April 12, 2024 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Starting next season, MLB teams will be playing a shorter more economical 16-game schedule. “We looked at the NFL and what makes them successful,” said baseball commissioner Ron Manfred, “and reducing the […]

Unger Games

Super Bowl Fans Accuse Taylor Swift of Distracting from the Commercials

February 11, 2024 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV It’s Super Bowl Sunday and that means millions of people will be on the edge of their seats to catch a glimpse of Taylor Swift. For some, however, Taylor’s presence just distracts […]

Unger Games

Taylor Swift Leads Kansas City to Super Bowl LVIII

January 28, 2024 Andrew

KANSAS CITY, MO With a stunning 17-10 victory over the Baltimore Ravens this afternoon, Kansas City Chiefs superstar Taylor Swift has punched her team’s ticket to Super Bowl LVIII in Las Vegas. “Kansas City is […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Kids Excited for New ‘Princess Elsa Stadium’

January 25, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Children all over the Winnipeg metro area (so, like, umm, Winnipeg plus Niverville or something) were super excited about the announcement of the new Princess Elsa Stadium. “They’re losing sleep over it,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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