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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Shoppers Seek ‘Bargain Basement’ Prices

October 26, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Teichroeb family has just moved to town and have been church shopping for the past several months. At the rate of one church a week, they will have visited every church in […]

Unger Conviction

Church Cell Group Consists Mostly of Endoplasmic Reticulum

January 8, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A new scientific analysis from the University of Southern Alberta has demonstrated that the vast majority of church cell groups consist of nothing more than endoplasmic reticulum. “We were hoping to find some […]

Unger Conviction

Report: Shallow Repetitive Worship Songs More Pleasing to the Lord than Hymns

September 2, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A report out of the University of Southern Lancaster suggests that really shallow, repetitive, self-indulgent ‘Praise and Worship’ songs are a full 20% more pleasing to the Lord than the boring old hymns. “I’m pretty […]

Unger Conviction

Last Church in Town Finally Drops ‘Cumbersome Mennonite Label’

March 26, 2018 Andrew

KLEINFELD, SK In the 1920s, the small town of Kleinfeld had more than a dozen Mennonite churches of various shapes and sizes. In 2018, all the churches are still around, though over the years most of […]

Unger Conviction

Local Worship Band Accidentally Performs Hymn

June 4, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The audience at a Calgary megachurch was left in shock after the worship band performed  ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’ during the Sunday morning worship set. “I’m not sure how this old thing […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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