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entertainment

The Daily Bonnet

‘The Voice’ to Feature Nothing but Mennonite Family Trios from Now On

December 15, 2021 Andrew

PETTISVILLE, OH After the success of Girl Named Tom this year, NBC’s ‘The Voice’ has committed to exclusively bringing in Mennonite singing groups from now on. “The Liechtys showed us that Mennonites could sing a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2021

November 20, 2021 Andrew

It was a great year for Menno movies! Mask requirements meant that millions of Mennonites could attend their local movie houses without any possible way of being identified by the church elders sitting across the […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for Lasting All 20 Seasons Without Watching the Kardashians

June 15, 2021 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Dueck, 37 of Seminole, Texas is being granted the Presidential Medal of Freedom this week for becoming the sole American survivor of the Kardashian years. “He is a beacon of hope in […]

Unger Suspicion

Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Gather to Celebrate One Full Year of Not Saying Something Stupid Enough on Twitter to Get Cancelled

February 28, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA It’ll be a near empty theatre tonight as the half dozen or so Hollywood stars who didn’t get themselves cancelled this year gather to waltz down a socially distanced red carpet and pat […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tickets for Mennonite Hip-Hop Musical ‘Hostetler’ Impossible to Get

February 19, 2021 Andrew

HOLLSOPPLE, PA Tickets for the new hip-hop musical telling the life story of former NFL quarterback Jeff Hostetler were snatched up so quickly that even Mrs. Kauffman couldn’t get her hands on a pair. “I’ve […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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