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eggs

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Farmer Hires Pierre Poilievre to Count His Chickens Before they’re Hatched

April 2, 2025 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Area poultry producer Garth Broesky has reached out to Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre to come on down to Grunthal and help him count all his chickens before they’re hatched. “He was getting so […]

Unger & Thirst

$80 Million Carton of Eggs Smashes Record in Sotheby’s Auction

February 7, 2025 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY A totally normal carton of eggs sold for a record $80 million plus buyer’s premium in a Sotheby’s auction this week, smashing the previous record of $4.50. “I’ve never seen anything like […]

Unger & Thirst

Eggy Mennonite Dish Now a Luxury Item

January 18, 2023 Andrew

BOISSEVAIN, MB Long thought of as a quick cheap dish that even Uncle Harry could make, Mennonite scrambled eggs or “ruehrei” as its often called, is now sold exclusively at high end designer boutiques. “Egg […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Confesses that Ruehrei is the Only Thing He Can Cook

January 27, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mr. Unger, 51, of Blumenhof has been making a delicious serving of ruehrei once a week for the past thirty-two years and his wife Wilma has had enough of it already. “Diewel, that man! […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Experiences Mysterious Egg Shortage After Everyone in Town Shuts Off the Lights and Pretends Not to Be Home

November 1, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local grocery stores were completely sold out of eggs yesterday, after for some unknown reason nearly everyone in town decided they were going to just turn off the lights and hide in the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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