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The Daily Bonnet

Carney Called Out for Utilizing ‘Plaudietsch’ Spelling

December 17, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It’s the biggest scandal to hit the Carney government yet – spelling. In this case, Prime Minister Mark Carney sent out several memos in which he spelled everything in Plautdietsch. “And the worst […]

Unger Suspicion

“Skibidi Toilet” Added to Oxford English Dictionary

July 2, 2024 Andrew

OXFORD, UK Intending to represent the diverse and sophisticated vernacular of the present generation, Oxford English Dictionary has added several new words to their pages include rizz, gyatt, mew, and, of course, skibidi toilet. “To […]

The Daily Bonnet

What’s the 2023 Low German Word of the Year?

November 28, 2023 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Researchers have scoured Jack Thiessen’s Mennonite Low German Dictionary to choose the most appropriate Plautdietsch word for 2023. The word for this year? None other than Domm’heit. “It’s the closest word in our […]

Unger & Thirst

A Glossary of Mennonite Food

April 9, 2021 Andrew

Ever wondered waut de hunt is komst borscht or plumi moos? Well, you can wonder no more, because the Daily Bonnet has created this handy dictionary of popular Russian Mennonite dishes. Now you can go […]

The Daily Bonnet

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Mandatory” as “Like Totally Optional, Whatever Man”

October 31, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENSTEIN, MB Webster’s Dictionary has just announced a list of wacky new words for 2020 including “permaculture”, “freegan”, “awesomesauce”, and “mandatory”, and defines the latter as “like totally optional, whatever man.” “We’re very pragmatic in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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