The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

crown royal

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Have No Place to Store their Crokinole Pieces After Crown Royal Plant Shuts Down

December 1, 2025 Andrew

ST. CATHERINES, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Ontario have joined Premier Doug Ford in dumping all the Crown Royal they weren’t intending on drinking anyway. “I use it for cooking or medicinal purposes only,” said […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford Dumps Out Entire Crown Royal Bag Full of Scrabble Tiles

September 3, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Furious at Crown Royal for shutting down a bottling plant in southern Ontario, Premier Doug Ford held a press conference this afternoon where he emptied out an entire Crown Royal bag full of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Spotted with Crown Royal Bag

May 17, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Friesen nearly faced the firing squad at the elder board meeting this past week after it was reported she had been seen earlier in the week with a Crown Royal bag. The […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Niverville Residents Finally Free From Arduous Journey to Winnipeg McDonald’s
    October 3, 2025
  • After Last Night Hanover Municipality Renamed ‘Hangover’
    January 1, 2018
  • Mennonite Nephew Babysits His Own Uncle
    August 4, 2017
  • Fight Breaks Out for Church Pew on ‘Peace Sunday’
    November 10, 2019
  • Bombers to Win Grey Cup Every Day Just So Portage and Main Can Stay Open to Pedestrians
    December 14, 2021

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved