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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Refunded Tuition After Graduating Bible School Single

May 7, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Samantha Peters, 22, was the lone unmarried graduate at Vankla Bible Institute this spring and, thus, was refunded her full tuition including the cost of textbooks. “Ugh, well, I guess I just wasted […]

The Daily Bonnet

Joel Wiens Stadium Replaces Reimer Stadium (Yes, this is real and, no, it’s not in Manitoba)

February 15, 2021 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Residents of southern Manitoba were mortified to discover that the Mennonites of Kansas had one-upped them in naming stuff after Nikkels, Wienses and Reimers. “Waut de schissjat is going on down there at […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite College Student Faints with Excitement at Hauerwas Lecture

April 29, 2019 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Thousands of die hard Stanley Hauerwas fans packed BC Place Stadium this week to hear the famed theologian give an hour long public lecture. The crowd was so excited to see the Resident Aliens-author […]

Unger Conviction

“Hymn 606 is Over-rated,” Declares Mennonite Hipster

April 1, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tyson Hendrix-Wiebe, a 22-year-old CMU student, caused quite a stir on social media this week after declaring Hymn 606 to be “like, totally, over-rated.” “All those people who claim they like 606 are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Awarded Ph.D. in Basket Weaving

March 30, 2019 Andrew

SHARTFIELD, SK While Shartfield Mennonite Bible School has been offering diplomas in basket weaving for decades, Mr. Peter Wiebe has become the first ever to make it all the way to Ph.D. status. “Oba, my […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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