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clothes

Unger Suspicion

U.S. Capitol to Be Replaced with One Massive Banana Republic

January 7, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Just hours after an embarrassing security breach at the United States Capitol building, government officials announced the commencement of major renovations to turn the place into a “totally epic” Banana Republic outlet store. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Makes Matching Outfits for the Entire Family

July 9, 2020 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mrs. Wall of Swift Current stopped by at the local fabric store this week and took home enough material to make the entire family matching outfits. “Na ya, these are going to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Reopened MCC Store to Buy Bigger Pants

June 12, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB More than a thousand eager, and slightly larger, Mennonites were lined up outside the Altona self-help this Friday when they heard the store just got in a fresh supply of pants. “Jauma lied, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Working from Home Completely Naked the Entire Time

March 19, 2020 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Graphic designer Mr. Plett, 58, of Leamington has decided that so long as this coronavirus thing is keeping him at home he might as well not bother to put any clothes on. “I’ve […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman “Wins the Lottery” After Mrs. Brubacher’s Clothes Blow into Her Yard

August 22, 2019 Andrew

HEIDELBERG, ON Mrs. Eby is feeling like she won the lottery this week after a particularly windy day blew all of Mrs. Brubacher’s clothes right into her yard. “This should keep the Ebys supplied all […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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