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christmas

Unger Conviction

Grandchildren Completely Baffled by Oma’s Gesangbuch

December 16, 2018 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Oma was very excited to sing out of the old German Gesangbuch with all the grandkids at the Plett Christmas gathering this Sunday, but soon realized things weren’t going to go nearly as smoothly […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mexican Mennonite Purchases Snowmobile, Prays for White Christmas

December 15, 2018 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO After his cousins Pieta and Johan extolled the virtues of a snowy white Christmas, Guillermo Krahn of Cuauhtemoc decided to purchase a snowmobile and have it shipped down to Mexico in anticipation of […]

Unger Suspicion

CBC Bans Popular Plautdietsch Christmas Song ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte!’

December 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Executives at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation have decided to ban the popular Plautdietsch holiday tune ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte’, after thousands of Canadians complained they didn’t know what the heck the words […]

Unger Conviction

Local Pastor Preaches Hour-Long Sermon About Why ‘Die Hard’ is a Christmas Movie

December 7, 2018 Andrew

OMAHA, NE An associate pastor at East Omaha Mennonite was so desperate to connect with his congregation that he spent a full hour during the service this week pontificating on why the 1980s classic action […]

The Daily Bonnet

Virgin Births Nothing Rare in Mennonite Country

December 24, 2017 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Miraculous conception has been cited as the cause of hundreds of pregnancies this past year in southern Manitoba. The Reinland Mennonite Hospital, for example, reported more than five hundred virgin births in 2017, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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