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business

Unger Suspicion

Ford to Stop Producing Mennonite Buggies

April 27, 2018 Andrew

DEARBORN, MI There is shocking news out of Michigan today as Ford Motor Company CEO Jim Hackett announced that the company would cease production of Mennonite and Amish buggies, other than the Mustang, by the […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Become a Cheap Mennonite in 7 Easy Steps

April 13, 2018 Andrew

Mennonites are a frugal bunch. At least we used to be. These days I see Mennonites with the latest second-hand designer t-shirts and jeans without patches. Oba. Back in my day, we never would have […]

Unger Conviction

Local Free Church to Charge Admission

April 3, 2018 Andrew

BEZKOSHTOVNO, KS After declining tithing in recent years a Free Church in the small Kansas town of Bezkoshtovno has decided they have no choice but to charge a nominal admission charge of $7.99 per person. […]

Unger & Thirst

Adorable Mennonite Child Becomes Millionaire Selling Chocolates to Old People

March 25, 2018 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB 6-year-old Anna Berg of South Blumenort has become the region’s latest millionaire after selling a record number of chocolate-covered almonds to area seniors. While Mennonites have the reputation for being rather frugal, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Buy Naming Rights to New Edmonton Arena

March 14, 2018 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB A group of wealthy Mennonites have honoured their favourite summer treat by purchasing the naming rights to the downtown Edmonton arena. Beginning today, the Oilers’ arena will officially be known as Rogers Golden […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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