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Unger Suspicion

Angry Americans Protest Wildfire Smoke that’s “Illegally” Crossing into the US from Canada

June 16, 2023 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY There was a massive demonstration in Manhattan this week as between five and seven people showed up to protest the wildfire smoke that’s been illegally crossing the border in the last couple […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied

December 17, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After receiving pressure from the authoritarian regime over in Jantsied, government officials in neutral Rosenort have extended the border closure between the two warring nations. “The iron curtain between between Jantsied and Ditsied […]

The Daily Bonnet

Caravan of Mennonites Heading for U.S. Border

November 5, 2018 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Driedger family of Abbotsford have loaded up their Dodge Caravan and are currently heading for the U.S. border. Authorities are on high alert, having been notified not to let any caravans enter […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Caught Smuggling Dirty Rubber Boots Across the Border

June 19, 2018 Andrew

WINDSOR, ON A Canadian Mennonite family has been detained at the Windsor-Detroit border this afternoon after the Canadian border officer spotted Mr. Friesen’s dirty rubber boots and suspected their might be a problem. “How long […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Illegal Migrants Cross Canadian Border on Segways

September 19, 2017 Andrew

CORNWALL, ON According to reliable reports, border towns across Canada have been facing a mass influx of Segway drivers in recent months. As a result, concerned citizens are calling on the Canadian Prime Minister to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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