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Unger Conviction

Long-winded Mennonite Pastor Blamed for Burnt Sunday Roast

September 29, 2024 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Pastor Dan has been called before the church elder board this week after a particularly long-winded sermon led to the destruction of more than a dozen Sunday roasts this past weekend. “Mrs. Kroeker […]

Unger & Thirst

New Steakhouse to Offer Extra Tough and Chewy Steak ‘Just the Way Mennonites Like It’

March 25, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB A brand new steakhouse in the small Mennonite town of Blumenort is offering patrons a delectable array of the toughest overcooked pieces of beef. “We specialize in old dairy cows,” said restaurant proprietor […]

Unger & Thirst

Fake Russian McDonalds Offers Limp Flavourless Fries Called ‘Putin’

June 18, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA After all the real McDonalds stores shut down this week, a new FakeDonalds is setting up shop in Russia and promises to offer a number of new menu items, including a variation on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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