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beards

The Daily Bonnet

“Mock us, please!” Pennsylvania Mennonites Demand Equal Treatment by the Daily Bonnet

November 15, 2019 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Thousands of Pennsylvania Mennonites petitioned the Daily Bonnet this week to be “more inclusive” of their particular idiosyncrasies that they claim are just ripe for mockery. “That website is far too Canadian!” yelled […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Shun Patrik Laine For Shaving Off His Beard

May 28, 2018 Andrew

TAMPERE, FINLAND After a playoff run that ended in disaster against the Vegas Knights, Winnipeg Jets superstar Patrik Laine has left the Mennonite faith and decided to shave off his beard and toss his suspenders […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites: Are They Hippies or Hipsters?

November 17, 2016 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN This past week, an international conference in Goshen explored the question that many outsiders have asked when encountering Mennonites on the street: “Are they hippies or hipsters?” This identity crisis was debated and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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