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The Daily Bonnet

NASA Report: Mennonites Live in Parallel Universe Where Time Runs Backwards

May 23, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Observations into deep space have recently uncovered strong evidence that Mennonites are all living in a parallel universe where time runs backwards. “According to our studies, it seems that the Big Bang created […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba’s Most Progressive Mennonite Man Moves His Clock Forward an Hour

March 10, 2019 Andrew

REINHOF, MB A man from the small hamlet of Reinhof is being hailed as a “free-thinking radical” after moving his clock forward an hour last night. “What can I say,” said Mr. Reimer. “I’ve always […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites to Turn Back the Clock One Century Tonight

November 5, 2016 Andrew

VOLLWERK, MB Due to Daylight Savings Time, Mennonites throughout North America will be turning back the clock an entire century tonight at 2 am. “I’m glad to see that people want to go back in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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