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Quizzes

Which Mennonite MP Should Replace Andrew Scheer as Conservative Leader?

December 15, 2019 Andrew

Nah, oba, well, Mr. Scheer didn’t last very long as leader. Taunte Lina has been talking in the church lobby and has been trying to stir up support to get a Mennonite in there once. […]

Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer’s American Passport Found Wedged Between Mrs. Reimer’s Couch Cushions

October 6, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK Missing for nearly forty years, Andrew Scheer’s American passport was discovered wedged between two old couch cushions in a suburban Regina bungalow this week. “It was right there next to a few Cheetos […]

The Daily Bonnet

Party Leaders Score Big Points During Plautdietsch Language Debate

October 2, 2019 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB With the notable exception of Bloc Quebecois leader Yves-Francois Blanchet, who said he really didn’t care to get the Mennonite vote, all major party leaders were present at the Plautdietsch language debate […]

Unger Suspicion

Andrew Scheer Hoping to Become Canada’s First Schekjbenjel Prime Minister

September 30, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK The 2019 Canadian federal election is a profoundly historic one. Just this weekend, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer revealed that, if elected in October, he would become Canada’s very first schekjbenjel Prime Minister. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Shocking Video Emerges of Politician Not Being a Complete Douche

September 20, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A shocking new video went viral this week after it appeared to show a politician not being a total douche. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Mrs. Kehler of Ottawa. “The guy […]

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