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anabaptism

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Really Looking Forward to Violating One of the Core Tenets of their Faith By Voting in Upcoming Election

March 23, 2025 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Thousands of Canadian Mennonites are really looking forward to ridding themselves of one of the foundational doctrines of their faith by voting in the upcoming federal election. “I guess it’s that time again,” […]

Unger Conviction

Felix Manz, Forgotten Second Rebaptizer, Declared “Buzz Aldrin” of the Anabaptists

January 22, 2025 Andrew

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND In the Mennonite world, absolutely everyone knows the name of George Blaurock, the first person to get rebaptized way back in 1525. We all sat around our television sets as he ventured into […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Celebrates 500 Years of Anabaptism By Getting Baptized 500 Times

January 20, 2025 Andrew

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS Devout Mennonite and local tulip farmer Aldert Alderliesten decided he would commemorate 500 years of Anabaptism by setting the Guinness World Record for most successive baptisms. “The previous record was George Blaurock in […]

Unger Conviction

Disney Releases New Song: ‘We Don’t Talk About Menno’

April 12, 2022 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Disney has just released a brand new children’s song called ‘We Don’t Talk About Menno’ intended to appeal to Mennonite churches who’ve abandoned their traditional Anabaptist theology. “We know there’s a huge market […]

Unger Conviction

Thousands of Catholics Forced to Become Anabaptists After Priest Says One Wrong Word

February 16, 2022 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Thousands of Roman Catholics who were incorrectly baptized by a local priest will have to be rebaptized pronto or risk eternal damnation. “For decades I said ‘we baptize you’ when I should have […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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