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The Daily Bonnet

Committee Rules Non-Mennonites are Allowed to Laugh at Mennonite Jokes

November 11, 2024 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB A meeting was held at the Randolph Garage this past week to determine whether non-Mennonites are allowed to laugh at Mennonite jokes. The issue was raised after several city folks felt guilty about […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Celebrates 150 Sinless Years

October 17, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbach, Manitoba was settled by 18 righteous and pure Mennonite families some 150 years ago, and after all this time the community has managed to remain completely sinless. “We made it. We finally […]

Unger Conviction

United Church Totally Rips Off Mennonite Hymnal

June 19, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The United Church of Canada is coming under fire this week for ripping off all their best ideas from the Mennonites, most importantly their hymnal. “Voices Together. Voices United. You thought you’d get […]

Unger Games

Jantsied Beats Ditsied for First Time in 26 Years

April 27, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Oba jo, that was quite the Turnbull Cup as the Jantsied Flyers defeated the Ditsied Pistons 4 games to nothing yet once. “Nah, jung, you finally did it,” said Abe Janzen of Jantsied. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Stage Production of ‘The Nutcracker’ Without All the Dancing

December 28, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In what has been praised as the “most innovative” ballet production in almost a century, the Mennonite Nutcracker wowed a packed house in a North Kildonan EMB church basement this week. “I’ve never […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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