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Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

The Daily Bonnet

High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB La Crete, Alberta’s country superstars High Valley are currently travelling across Canada performing exclusively for various Rempels. “Every time I walk out onto the stage and look out into audience, all I see […]

The Daily Bonnet

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026 Andrew

RIDING MOUNTAIN, MB More than two thousand young Mennonite men showed up at Riding Mountain National Park this week ready to join the World War III Conscientious Objector camp. “We haven’t had the chance to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026 Andrew

YARROW, BC There was a buzz in the church lobby at South Yarrow MB this week after the province announced there would be permanent daylight savings. “Oba, I expect savings during at an MCC bag […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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