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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Mrs. Koop of Kleefeld had to be rushed to the hospital this week after she over-exerted herself trying to get more rhubarb on her vereniki. “I’m doing okay now, but it was the […]

The Daily Bonnet

8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026 Andrew

NEWTON, KS There was mass confusion and chaos in Newton, Kansas this afternoon after the name Mary Unrau was called for the raffle draw. “I’m Mary Unrau,” said one woman. “No, I’m Mary Unrau,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The Coen Brothers have just wrapped up filming the sequel to their 1998 cult hit The Big Lebowski. The new film, entitled The Big Sawatzky, which reunites Jeff Bridges with John Goodman, Steve […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score

July 31, 2026 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Normally Mr. Penner can be pretty confident that he’ll come out on top anytime the knipsbrat board is placed in front of him. But a mixup with the knipsers this afternoon really had […]

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