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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tries Unsuccessfully to Get a Buzz from Ginger Ale

November 9, 2024 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON After a hard day’s work on the tomato farm, local man Joseph Kroeker, 21, sat down for a nice relaxing ale this evening, only to discover his choice of beverage was not nearly […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather for Harder-Dyck Wedding

November 8, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Dozens of Harders and Dycks, along with their friends and churchmates, gathered in at the Swift Current EMB church this past weekend to witness the wedding of Christopher Harder, 23, and Brittney […]

The Daily Bonnet

Flat Earther Proves His Theory with Bibliography Full of Memes

November 7, 2024 Andrew

CORN, OK Mr. Billy Pauls of Corn, Oklahoma recently posted his “extensively researched and definitive proof” of his flat earth theory which contained a lengthy Works Cited page containing dozens of memes he found online […]

Unger the Influence

American Kids Get Day Off School Tomorrow in Order to Pack Up and Move to Canada

November 5, 2024 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA With the fate of the nation hanging in the balance this evening, many American schools are giving the kids a day off school tomorrow. “You know, to pack,” said Principal Rachel Schmidt of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Unable to Identify His Own Wife’s Potato Salad at Church Potluck

November 4, 2024 Andrew

BOW ISLAND, AB Dave Pankratz, 61, of Bow Island, Alberta was in quite the predicament at the church potluck this week as he tried to identify his own wife’s potato salad from among the more […]

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