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Unger & Thirst

Lemonade Stand Money Goes Directly to Dad

June 12, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Like all money generated by any member of the Wiens family, the income produced by Susie and Danny’s lemonade stand this weekend went directly to their father. “If they’re living under my […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Accidentally Consumes a Vegetable

June 12, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Local man Klass Klassen, 53, was rushed to the hospital this past week after it was discovered he had inadvertently consumed two carrots and a few florets of broccoli. “Mennonites are highly allergic […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Takes ‘Naked Anabaptist’ Far Too Literally

June 11, 2017 Andrew

LONDON, UK Stuart Murray’s book ‘The Naked Anabaptist’ has been monumental in promoting the Anabaptist Christian tradition in the United Kingdom and around the world. For one London man, however, the book has become a little […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Overwhelmingly Prefer Adam West to Any Other Batman

June 11, 2017 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Being sensible and civilized people, Mennonites across North America have expressed an overwhelming preference for the late Adam West’s version of Batman. A recent survey showed that 91% of Mennonites chose Adam West […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Manitoba to Honour City Founder ‘Fonzie’

June 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A 50-metre statue of Happy Days star Henry Winkler is set for construction right across the four-lane highway from Southland Mall in Winkler, Manitoba. “It was about darn time. As Mennonites, it’s very […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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