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Unger Conviction

Naive Young Man Still Clinging to Hope of Meeting Eligible Young Woman in Church

July 3, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local bachelor Timothy Wiebe, 23, of Altona is sticking to his guns and showing up to church every Sunday hoping and praying that a young woman his age will miraculously appear. Wiebe has […]

Unger Games

Local Man Dies of Boredom Watching Soccer

July 2, 2018 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Local man Mr. Gingrich, 73, of Kitchener passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday. He was discovered by his daughter Samantha, who found him on the couch with a World Cup match still […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada Day Ruined as Stoned Singer Totally Butchers ‘Oh Canada’

July 1, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands gathered in Ottawa today to celebrate the nation’s birthday. However, more than a few people, including one of the anthem singers, were in the city to celebrate a little more than just […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Things Mennonites Are Allowed to Waste Money On

June 30, 2018 Andrew

When it comes to spending, Mennonites are a frugal bunch. Despite the fact many Mennonites have done well for themselves economically, they’re not the type to flaunt their wealth. You won’t see a Mennonite driving […]

Unger Suspicion

School’s Out! Back-to-School Shopping Begins!

June 30, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Just seconds after Calgary students were released for summer vacation, advertisers began pestering their parents to begin their back-to-school shopping. “Pencils, binders, backpacks, and all the latest fashions. We’ve got it all,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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