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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Takes Three Hours to Type One Text Message

July 7, 2019 Andrew

BOW ISLAND, AB Breanne Toews, 17, had to wait a full three hours to receive a reply to the simple text message she sent her grandmother this week. Breanne had asked her grandmother whether she […]

Unger & Thirst

Lutheran Man Joins Mennonite Church After Discovering Roll Kuchen

July 6, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Schmidt of Steinbach has been a life-long attendee at the local Lutheran Church. However, after discovering roll kuchen this week, he decided to abandon the faith of his childhood and join the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Driving Up the Price of Sod Huts in Vancouver

July 5, 2019 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The sod hut market is soaring in Vancouver as Fraser Valley Mennonites are moving into the city and buying up huge swaths of valuable real estate. “Prices are out of control! It’s getting […]

Quizzes

Can You Solve These Mennonite Magic Eyes?

July 4, 2019 Andrew

Remember these stereogram puzzles from the 1990s? Well, they’re back. Probably with Mennonites they never went out. Here are five Mennonite-related puzzles for you to figure out. Try not to get a headache. 1. Hint: […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Introduces New Social Network Called ‘Knipschat’

July 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB From the heart of the Mennonite Silicon Valley comes a brand new social network called ‘Knipschat.’ The new app allows users to post pictures of themselves knipsing, knitting, or knoodeling. “The best thing […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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