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The Daily Bonnet

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Stunt Driver Performs Ten U-Turns in a Row

October 12, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local man who calls himself “Steinbach’s most badass stunt driver,” performed more than a dozen successful U-turns on Main Street on Tuesday night in his Ford pick-up. “Doing U-turn is how I […]

Unger Suspicion

Desperate to Woo Trudeau Supporters, Maxime Bernier Renames New Party ‘The Peoplekind Party of Canada’

October 11, 2019 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Eager to move up a bit in the polls, sixth-place Maxime Bernier has decided a little tweaking of his party name just might do the trick. “I can’t figure it out. For some […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Invites Over Four People but Cooks for Twenty

October 10, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Schellenberg of Winkler decided to invite the Barkmans and Goosens for dinner tonight and since there was going to be a total of six people, she decided to cook a meal for […]

Unger Conviction

$10 Billion Business Deal Inked in Mennonite Church Lobby

October 9, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZ, SK Mr. Thiessen and Mr. Klassen just signed a massive $10 billion business deal in the local Mennonite church lobby this past Sunday. The deal is the third largest business deal ever signed in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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