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Unger Conviction

Monsanto Buys Naming Rights to Mennonite Church

July 23, 2025 Andrew

FRIEDRICHSTAHL, KS With church funds at an all-time low, the Friedrichstahl Mennonite Church was desperate to fund their new church expansion. That’s why controversial agrochemical giant Monsanto decided, out of the generosity of their hearts, to step […]

Unger Suspicion

Unger Review Gets Amazing Bargain on Stephen Colbert Contract

July 22, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Always looking for cheap laughs, Mennonite satire site The Unger Review has just been offered a “bargain basement” deal to pick up the contract of late night host Stephen Colbert. “CBS was like, […]

Unger Conviction

Dozens of Mennonites Take Ill On Stale Communion Crackers

July 21, 2025 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Nearly thirty congregants at the local Mennonite church had to go home early this Sunday after partaking in communion with some pretty sketchy looking crackers. “We’ve been using the same box of crackers […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Hires Coldplay to Help Spot the Sinners

July 20, 2025 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Attendees at a local Mennonite church will be on their best behaviour from now on as the church has blown their entire budget to hire English rock band Coldplay to help identify […]

Unger Suspicion

Reluctant Steinbachers Lured into Winnipeg with Lower Gas Prices

July 19, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB This summer, the City of Winnipeg has been luring hesitant rural folks into the big city the only way they know how – knocking 20 cents off at the gas pump. “I feel […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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