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The Daily Bonnet

‘Artsy’ Mennonite Director to Release Documentary ‘My Vanapag’

February 14, 2020 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Guy Martens, an independant film-maker from North Kildonan who specializes in making films “da way ve used to in the good old days before sound took over and ruined averyting,” is set […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Rage Against the Machine’ Smashes Capitalism with $300 Concert Tickets

February 13, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB With ticket prices starting at $190 for nosebleed seats and soaring upwards from there, legendary leftist rap metal band Rage Against the Machine has successfully reached its target audience: the bourgeoisie. “We’ve always […]

Quizzes

The Miriam Toews Quiz!

February 12, 2020 Andrew

How much do you know about the writing career of Mennonite novelist Miriam Toews? [wp_quiz id=”10432″]

Unger Suspicion

Hollywood Actor Presented with Annual “Even More Self-Righteous than a Mennonite” Award

February 11, 2020 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The annual Hollywood Self-Righteousness Awards were handed out on Sunday, with the top designation ‘Even More Self-Righteous than a Mennonite’ going to actor Joaquin Phoenix. “I’d like to thank the Academy of Unwarranted […]

The Daily Bonnet

People Keep Assuming Kansas Friesens are Secretly Canadian

February 10, 2020 Andrew

MEADE, KS The Friesens of Kansas have an announcement to make: “We’re not Canadians!” “Any time I go anywhere people assume I’m from Manitoba,” said Mr. Friesen. “Gosh, you know not all the Friesens left […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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