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Unger & Thirst

Full Grown Man Still Eats Sugary Children’s Cereal

July 10, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Despite the protests of his loving wife Doris, Mr. Eby, 43, of Waterloo downs three bowls of sugary children’s cereal every morning at breakfast. “Count Chocula! Froot Loops! Lucky Charms! You name it, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Makes Matching Outfits for the Entire Family

July 9, 2020 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mrs. Wall of Swift Current stopped by at the local fabric store this week and took home enough material to make the entire family matching outfits. “Na ya, these are going to […]

Unger Suspicion

Flat-Earther Cites Saskatchewan as Evidence

July 8, 2020 Andrew

MOOSE JAW, SK World-renowned flat-earther Mr. Fehr has taken to the Internet to expose the Flat Earth Society’s greatest bit of evidence yet: the Province of Saskatchewan. “I mean just look at it,” said Mr. […]

Unger & Thirst

Hash Brownie Recipe Discovered in Antique Mennonite Cookbook

July 6, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mennonite Recipes of Lancaster County is thought to be the oldest Swiss Mennonite cookbook in the world. Little was known about the content of the very first edition until now. Recently a rare […]

Unger Suspicion

Devout American Christians Gather to Enthusiastically Worship False Idol Today

July 4, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Millions of pious God-fearing Bible-believing Christians across America are gathering today to sing songs of glory, honour, and praise to the golden calf US flag and constitution. “It’s our most sacred holiday,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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