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Unger & Thirst

Introducing the Seattle Knackin’

July 23, 2020 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Eager to win over some hockey fans in the Fraser Valley from the Vancouver Canucks, the owners of the NHL’s latest misguided attempt at making hockey work in a non-hockey market have decided […]

Unger Conviction

Local Bible School Offers Degree in Inspirational Meme Creation

July 22, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pembina Valley Bible School has just introduced a new three-year certificate in ‘Inspirational Meme Creation’. PVBS students will be taught how to select a sunset and where to place the Joel Osteen quote. […]

Unger Suspicion

Edmonton Man Really Upset His Favourite Team Would Change their Name … or Logo, Colours, Jersey, Mascot, Location, Stadium, Turf, Ownership, Ticket Prices, Players, Coaching Staff, Management, Special Teams Strategy …

July 21, 2020 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In what one Edmonton man describes as a “completely unprecedented move for a professional sports team”, the Edmonton football club has decided to change its nickname. “In all my years I’ve never seen […]

Unger Suspicion

Quebec Requires All Residents to Wear Head Coverings

July 20, 2020 Andrew

QUEBEC CITY, QC After an outbreak of “uncontrolled sassiness,” the government of Quebec is trying to reign things in and is requiring all residents to humble themselves and wear traditional religious head coverings of some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Terrible Road Between Jantsied and Ditsied Allows Travellers to Experience the Life of a Pioneer

July 19, 2020 Andrew

MORRIS, MB Travellers along Highway 75 in southern Manitoba are being offered a marvelous new way to experience the life of a Mennonite pioneer. By simply driving from Steinbach to Altona via Morris, travellers are […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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