The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Conviction

Local Church Becomes 7-Eleven Franchise So it Can Reopen as an Essential Service

December 9, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The EGCMB Church of Saskatoon has installed five Slurpee machines and a place to rotate the wieners so that they can reopen as an essential business this Sunday. “Come for the gospel, stay […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Caught Walking Around Morden in a Speedo

December 8, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Emboldened by Morden’s reputation for liberalism, Winkler man Peter Schellenberg, 63, jogged down Stephen Street this afternoon wearing nothing but a Speedo and a smile. “Waut de schissjat is that yet?” said Mr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

B.M. Friesen and Sons Electrical to Rebrand

December 7, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Since the early days of the rural electrification program in Manitoba, B.M. Friesen and Sons has been a household name in the Scratching River settlement. Now, however, the company has decided to rebrand. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbachers Claim Massive Grey Obelisk has Been there for Decades

December 6, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Eager to get Steinbach back on the front of the paper this week, Winnipeg media outlets passed through town looking for something, anything, they could report on. And, lo and behold, on the […]

Unger Suspicion

Passengers Rush to Board ‘Super Safe’ Flight with 99% Survival Rate

December 5, 2020 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL Passengers boarding a flight from Chicago to London today felt “super safe” after the captain announced that the plane had a “99% survival rate.” “Good evening. This is your captain speaking. The skies […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 331 332 333 … 708 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Chappell Roan to Settle Down in Modest Swift Current Bungalow
    August 14, 2025
  • Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month
    October 15, 2019
  • Maple Leafs Hire Loblaws CEO Galen Weston to Artificially Inflate Fan Expectations
    May 13, 2024
  • Mennonite Town Eagerly Anticipates Spanish Man’s Arrival
    April 9, 2017
  • How to Sneak Snacks into the Movie Theatre: A Guide for Cheap Mennonites
    March 19, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved