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Unger & Thirst

How to Drink Whiskey: A Guide for Mennonites

September 24, 2021 Andrew

Whiskey is back! Even Mennonites are getting in on the action. However, to those who may be new to Mennonite whiskey drinking, we offer this handy guide. How to drink whiskey: a guide for Mennonites! […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Spends Six Hours Looking for the Right Tupperware Lid

September 23, 2021 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON Wendy Kroeker, 71, got up extra early this morning in preparation for her appearance at the Niagara-on-the-Lake Mennonite Church potluck. “It’s not that my dish took all that long to prepare,” said Kroeker, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Can’t Figure Out Whether to Go to Abbotsford or Chilliwack ‘White Spot’

September 22, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The Driedgers of Yarrow found themselves in quite the predicament this Sunday when they decided to venture down the highway for lunch and found far too many White Spots locations for them to […]

Unger Conviction

That Hymn 606 Sure Gets Around

September 21, 2021 Andrew

AKRON, PA The Akron Mennonite church lobby was full of gossip this week about just where Hymn 606 has been spending her Sunday mornings for the past few months. “Did you hear about that Hymn […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta

September 20, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Cargo trains of farmer sausage have been loaded up in Winnipeg and are on their way to Edmonton this week after a massive sausage shortage struck the oil-rich province. “They always say Manitoba’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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