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The Daily Bonnet

New Fitness Program Encourages Mennonites to Literally LMAO

October 9, 2021 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB A new fitness centre in Plum Coulee is offering Mennonites in the surrounding area the opportunity to literally laugh their asses off. The new weight-loss program brings in old Mennonite men who […]

Unger Conviction

All Mennonites Are Exactly the Same

October 8, 2021 Andrew

Mennonites have received a lot of attention in the media as of late, and not all of it has been positive. Therefore, it behooves me as a proud Mennonite and journalist to clear up a […]

Unger Suspicion

YouTuber Spends Entire Video Asking People to Like and Subscribe

October 7, 2021 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Popular YouTuber Pastor Bob of Pastor Bob’s Gospel Hoedown channel spent an entire thirty minute video this past week reminding people to “like and subscribe.” “If you could smash that like and subscribe […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Evening at Applebee’s

October 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB With the kids at Oma and Opa’s, the Thiessens of Steinbach decided to head to the city with their freshly minted vax cards and have a few mozza sticks. “Jauma, my Peter is […]

Unger & Thirst

Panic Strikes Mennonite Picnic as they Run Out of La Cocina

October 5, 2021 Andrew

STE. ANNE, MB The tri-annual Koop family picnic was brought to a standstill this weekend after three bags of La Cocina were devoured in short order and there was still salsa left. “Diewel! Waut de […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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