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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Passes “Auntie Jen” Test

April 27, 2022 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON There was much celebration in the Janz household this weekend after Diane revealed two solid lines on her “Auntie Jen” test. “OMG, I’m going to be an auntie,” yelled excited sister Jennifer. […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Builds New Confederation Bridge to Compete with the One in PEI

April 26, 2022 Andrew

LORETTE, MB The province of Manitoba has recently declared a gravel service road next to the Trans Canada Highway near Lotette as “Confederation Bridge West” after recent rain storms. “This gravel road surrounded by water […]

Unger Conviction

Meet the ‘Steinbach Reads’ 2022 Contenders: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John

April 25, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s an annual tradition in Steinbach. Every year enthusiastic local readers defend a choice of book and the final book is required reading for the entire community. This year, the panel will be […]

Unger & Thirst

Faint Line Indicates Presence of Knackzoat in the Blood

April 24, 2022 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK Mr. Derek Wiebe of Waldheim, Saskatchewan is just one in a long line of local residents who’ve tested positive for knackzoat in recent weeks. “I waited the full 15 minutes and it was […]

Unger Suspicion

Tucker Carlson to Mennonite Men: “Make Sure to Smoke Your Sausage”

April 23, 2022 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson is urging low-testosterone Mennonite men to “stick your sausage in a smoker pronto.” “This is no laughing matter,” said Carlson, who claims 1 in 3 men now […]

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