The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

BC to Decriminalize Up to 2.5 Grams of Borscht

June 7, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC As of July 1 this year, the government of British Columbia will decriminalize possession of up to 2.5 grams of cabbage borscht, so long as it’s for personal use. “Borscht is a health issue,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Denied Boarding for Carrying Two Ice Cream Pails of Jreewe

June 6, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Deirdre Giesbrecht was denied boarding of JantsiedJet Flight 606 this afternoon after her ice cream pails full of cracklings were declared a “liquid” and therefore not suitable for carry-on luggage. “Oba nay! […]

Unger & Thirst

New Reports Claims Children Just Faking It, Most Absolutely Love Broccoli and Brussels Sprouts

June 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new Health Canada study shows that kids have been fooling us the entire time. According to research, Canadian children report broccoli, brussels sprouts, and green peppers among their absolute favourite foods. “It […]

Unger Conviction

Area Church Declared “Apostate” for Not Being Big Enough Jerks

June 3, 2022 Andrew

GRUENHIMMELSCHANTZ, SK One local church has come under intense scrutiny, as of late, for being “insufficiently jerkish” for the rest of the churches in the area. “They’re apostates. We can no longer fellowship with folks […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Excommunicated for Living in Temperate Climate

June 2, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Pete Unger and the rest of his family has been sentenced to ten years shovelling the church parking lot after it was discovered they spent the entire winter in Phoenix, Arizona […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 251 252 253 … 732 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Chris Goertzen and Kelvin Goertzen Still Insist They’re Not Brothers
    May 26, 2016
  • Mennonites Gather in Steinbach for Annual Meeting of Double Cousins
    August 16, 2025
  • Mennonite Rock Fans Celebrate 50 Years of ‘Jantsied of the Moon’
    February 12, 2024
  • Winklerites Furious as Morden Woman Elected Leader
    February 3, 2022
  • “I don’t not love Winkler,” says Michael B. Jordan
    March 4, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved