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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Potluck Offers Incredible Array of Macaroni Salads

October 16, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Attendees at the North Goshen Mennonite Church potluck this past Sunday were in left in absolute shock at the diverse array of macaroni salads on offer. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It […]

The Daily Bonnet

“He’s a 10 but….” (Mennonite Version)

October 15, 2022 Andrew

I’ve never been on TikTok. I barely know what it is. But, apparently, the entire purpose is to ask people how they’d rate other people on a scale of 1 to 10, yet. Like, my […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Resident Becomes First Mennonite Man Ever to Tell His Wife He Loves Her

October 14, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Area man Dick Froese made headlines throughout Leamington this week after he became the first Mennonite man ever to publicly express love for his own wife. “When we got married 40 years ago, […]

Unger Suspicion

Alberta Premier Calls Shirtless Dude at 7-11 “Most Persecuted Man in All of Human History”

October 13, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Local man Darryl Klassen of Edmonton, who was kicked out of a local 7-11 store this week for wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts and a mullet, has been called “the […]

Unger & Thirst

Failure to Preheat the Oven Has Mennonite Family Scrambling for Chicken Chef

October 12, 2022 Andrew

CARMAN, MB The Hiebert family of Carman were all raring up for their first non-illegal Thanksgiving dinner in three years, when Taunte Helen’s failure to preheat the oven caused such a long delay that they […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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