The Daily Bonnet
Mennonite Woman All Out of Candy Already
MITCHELL, MB Area woman Angie Neufeld, 38, was all out of candy at 5:30 PM this evening and has shut off her lights and gone to bed. “Sorry, kids, better try next door at the […]
Unger Suspicion
Rembrandt Painting Has Been Hanging Upside Down for 400 Years
BERLIN, GERMANY The Gemäldegalerie in Berlin has recently discovered that the famous Rembrandt painting of a Mennonite pastor and his wife has been hanging upside down for the past four centuries. “I’m not sure how this […]
Unger Conviction
New Pill Makes Mennonite Church Service Tolerable
CHILLIWACK, BC After decades of research, a brand new pill has been approved by the Mennonite Health Service that makes Sunday morning church services just barely tolerable. “I don’t use this term lightly, but it’s […]
The Daily Bonnet
Mennonite Man Already Crafting His Snarky Rebuttal to Michael Zwaagstra’s Latest Column
STEINBACH, MB Steinbach resident Mr. Unrau was enjoying a lovely afternoon at KR Barkman Park, paging through The Carillon, when he flipped to the opinion page to read Michael Zwaagstra’s take on the latest hot button issue. […]
Unger Suspicion
Man with 27% of the Vote Claims He’s Mayor of Winnipeg
WINNIPEG, MB For some strange reason, an area man who received just 27% of the vote last night is under the impression that he’s the new mayor of Winnipeg. “I’d like to thank the literally […]