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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Installs New Inground Pool

June 4, 2026 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local man Johan Miller has always wanted a good quality inground pool, which he feels will be especially refreshing during the hot summer months. “But I wasn’t going to pay Home Depot prices,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Adventurous Manitoban Drives Right to the Top of Province’s Highest Mountain

June 3, 2026 Andrew

BALDY MOUNTAIN, MB Area man Pete Rempel braved a completely paved highway this week and became the first member of his immediate family to drive right to the top of Manitoba’s highest mountain. “It’s a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly

June 2, 2026 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB Disappointed with the lack of rhubarb-flavoured options, diehard Bubly-drinker Evelen Sawatzky of Randolph, Manitoba has taken matters into her own hands. “Basically I just gather all the run-off water after I’m done washing […]

The Daily Bonnet

Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review

May 31, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC As part of his ongoing war on comedy, President Trump launched a series of attacks against Mennonite humourist Andrew Unger last night. “Totally untalented, not funny. Nobody reads The Unger Review. His ratings […]

Unger the Influence

Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week

May 30, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A completely destroyed and annihilated military has somehow managed to take over the Strait of Hormuz this afternoon, which means Donald Trump will have to completely destroy the completely destroyed military yet again. […]

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