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Unger Suspicion

Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Convicted fraudster and medical inventor Elizabeth Holmes is set to be released from prison and will be setting up shop in Winkler, Manitoba. “Where I’ll be knisping and knacking to cure whatever ails […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites

October 25, 2026 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Two folks of Mennonite ancestry, Doerkson and Eby, squared off for the role of Premier of British Columbia last night, with Mennonites turning out in droves to support the Mennonite of their choice. […]

Unger the Influence

Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler

October 23, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg mayoral candidate Calvin Kleinsasser had a lot of explaining to do this week after his team accidentally ran an ad that included photos of Winkler, Manitoba instead of Winnipeg. “I don’t know […]

Unger the Influence

Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat

October 22, 2026 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Edmonton’s small but growing Mennonite community has come to rally around their new-ish mayor after discovering he shared an interest in their favourite snack. “Nah, oba, I really had no interest in municipal […]

Unger the Influence

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Pesticide manufacture Roundup has just announced a new product specifically designed to get rid of those pesky election signs in your yard. “We’re really excited to bring this new product to the market,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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