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Unger & Thirst

Pigeon With Backpack Full of Knackzoat Caught at BC Prison

January 10, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Abbotsford Correctional Services are investigating after a pigeon with a backpack full of delicious dill pickle-flavoured sunflower seeds with found at the Fraser Valley MB Prison this week. “It appears that someone on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Artificial Intelligence Wrote This Daily Bonnet Article (For Real)

January 9, 2023 Andrew

In yet one more way that the Internet is dead set on utterly destroying all of human civilization, artificial intelligence can now do our writing for us. Admittedly, it’s not very good at it … […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Discovered Hidden Behind Her Englisher Husband’s Surname

January 8, 2023 Andrew

HOCHSTEIN, MB When Sarah Smith, 27, moved to Hochstein from the city this year to run the coffee shop, locals were immediately impressed by the “authentic Englisher” they now had living in their midst. “Smith […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Critics Excited to Watch ‘Women Talking’ and Find All the “Errors”

January 7, 2023 Andrew

SCHAZENBACHDORF, MB Utterly obsessed with their own depiction in film and literature, a group of particularly persnickety Mennonite critics are flocking to the Schanzenbachdorf Theatre this week to look for the slightest of “errors” in […]

Unger Suspicion

Sunwing Passengers Stranded in La Crete, Alberta

January 6, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Rather than the sunny climes of Mexico, an entire plane of Sunwing Passengers somehow found themselves way up in northern Alberta this week. “I don’t know how the heck we got up […]

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