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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Claim TV is Just for Watching Billy Graham Specials

April 4, 2023 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE Caught with a television set in their home this week by the church vice squad, the Friesens of Henderson, Nebraska claim they only really use the TV for the two allowable reasons – […]

Unger Suspicion

Amish Man Can’t Figure Out Why He Got This ‘Carbon Tax Relief’ Cheque

April 3, 2023 Andrew

VITA, MB Mr. Schwartzenbeilersnider of over near Vita was completely baffled this week when he stopped at the post office in town and found something called a ‘Carbon Tax Relief Fund’ cheque from the Manitoba […]

The Daily Bonnet

Concerning New Mennonite Workplace Trend: Quiet Quilting

April 2, 2023 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON It’s called “Quiet Quilting” and it’s a concerning new workplace trend, as increasing numbers of Mennonites in offices and shops across the country are discreetly stitching away at their quilts during the workday. […]

Unger & Thirst

Stick Holding Debit Machine at Drivethru Falls Just Short of Actually Reaching Car

April 1, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The long rod that holds the debit machine was not quite long enough to reach Mrs. Plett’s car this afternoon, forcing the frustrated fast food lover to pull over and come inside to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Eagerly Anticipate Turning the Page on their MCC Calendar

March 31, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK It’s that time of the month when Mennonite couples gather at the refrigerator to flip the next page of their MCC calendars. “Harry, come quick, it’s almost midnight. Time to flip the MCC […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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