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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man is Just About Ready to Start His Christmas Shopping

December 23, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Dave Wiens figured he was just about ready to start Christmas shopping and so decided to venture out to the mall in Vanapag this morning. “I know a lot of my […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Wearing North Face Jacket Forced to Walk Backwards Everywhere

December 21, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Area man Garth Bergen, 41, has discovered that ever since he bought that North Face jacket this fall, he can’t help himself but walk backwards everywhere. “I don’t know what it is,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Packs Basement to Sing Hymns and Watch ‘Die Hard’

December 20, 2023 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON Folks at the North South Niagara MBBM Church sure were in a festive mood this week after they gathered in the basement to eat peanuts in paper bags, sing “Der Friedensfurst” and, most […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family on Costco Hot Dogs

December 19, 2023 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The Wiens family of Linden loaded up the Dodge Caravan this afternoon for their weekly trip to Costco to enjoy really cheap hot dogs. “This time we brought along Oma and Opa and […]

Unger Games

‘O Canada’ Performed in Low German Before Jets Game

December 18, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Cheers erupted in Winkler this evening as, for the first time in NHL history, the Canadian national anthem was performed in the Mennonite dialect of Low German. “I’m used to this at Winkler […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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