Metaverse Allows Mennonites to Finally Experience Real Life


Researchers at Fresno Pacific University have created a new metaverse for Mennonites, which forces participants to escape their cloistered Mennonite existence and face reality.

“For centuries Mennonites have done everything in their power to flee from real life,” said metaverse creator Dr. Mark Zucker-Bergman. “Now, Mennonites will put on a headset, and for the first time in their lives, be confronted with reality. I’m sure they’re going to love it.”

The Mennonite Metaverse, already branded as Mennoverse, will ask Mennonites to spend time in cities, surround themselves with a diverse array of people and thought, and even face their problems head on rather than sweeping them under the carpet.

“Mennoverse is going to be a challenge,” said Zucker-Bergman. “I know there’s going to be some resistance, but, in the long run, I think facing reality will only be a good thing for the Mennonite community.”

The new Mennoverse will also allow users to drink alcohol, dance, marry someone other than the farmer their mother picked out for them, and boot out all the church elders and replace them with the women of the community.

“I think some of the Mennonites are going to want to leave the headsets on 24/7,” said Zucker-Bergman. “I certainly know I will.”

Zucker-Bergman is also creating a metaverse world that allows city folks the chance to live like Mennonites, although most of the beta-testers couldn’t last more than an hour or two in that universe.

Gathering Cancelled: Friesens Told to Go Home and Stay There
World Junior Uno Tournament Cancelled