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Unger Games

Unger Games

Blue Jays Sign Ohtani to Hit, Pitch, and Also Quarterback the Argos

December 8, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Shohei Ohtani is set to become Toronto’s first three-way player this week, after agreeing to a massive multi-year contract to hit and pitch for the Blue Jays. His duties will also include quarterbacking […]

Unger Games

Indiana Church Starts Campaign to Help White Billionaire Pay Traffic Ticket

November 24, 2023 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Indiana residents are being asked to reach deep into their pockets this week and lend a hand to local white billionaire and Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay in his time of need. “We’ve […]

Unger Games

Bombers Fans Really Excited About Last Night’s Green Day Concert

November 20, 2023 Andrew

HAMILTON, ON It was the biggest night on the Canadian Football calendar, so naturally Winnipeg Blue Bomber fans were super pumped to see Green Day. “I’ve been looking forward to this Green Day concert for […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Invents New Sport, ‘Dill Pickleball’

November 8, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Not content to play regular pickleball like the Englishers, area woman Ruth Loeppky is hoping a little dill and a lot of love will revolutionize recreation options in southern Manitoba. “Mennonites consume more […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Excited as NHL Rescinds Ban on Noah’s Ark Tape

October 25, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON After going back and forth on the issue, the NHL has decided it will allow players to use Noah’s ark tape after all. “Oba jo, finally some biblical tape for us Mennonites,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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