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Unger Games

Unger Games

Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters

February 9, 2026 Andrew

MILAN, ITALY After a thorough investigation, researches have finally uncovered the reason why so many Olympic medals were found to be broken this weekend: Mrs. Esther Brandt of Rosenort. “She was going around and making […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show

February 8, 2026 Andrew

FRESNO, CA For those looking for an alternative halftime show to either Bad Bunny or Kid Rock, the Fresno Central Mennonite Church is inviting guests to listen to their choir this afternoon. “We felt that […]

Unger Games

Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses

February 6, 2026 Andrew

MILAN, ITALY The Canadian Olympic committee just announced that the entire team, in every sport, would be made up of Friesens and Froeses. “What can I say?” said bobsledder Peter Froese. “With a name like […]

Unger Games

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Canadian provincial and federal leaders showed a united front this afternoon as they gathered in Saskatoon to see who was the better knipser. “Of course, Wab Kinew had a big advantage being from […]

Unger Games

Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now

January 28, 2026 Andrew

SANTA CLARA, CA Area man Jake Loewen, 41, is really gearing up for the Super Bowl this weekend to distract himself from thinking about all the messed up things that have been going on lately. […]

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