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Unger Games

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Really Looking Forward to Getting to Bed Early and Finding Out the Jets Score in the Morning

April 24, 2025 Andrew

ARNAUD, MB Die hard Jets fan Darren Giesbrecht, 50, is so pumped for the game tonight that he plans to wake up early tomorrow morning to find out the score. “I don’t want to miss […]

Unger Games

White House Announces Massive New Tariff on Sydney Crosby

April 11, 2025 Andrew

PITTSBURGH, PA It may have been temporarily paused for now, but this week the White House announced a 87% reciprocal tariff on all penguins, including hockey superstar Sydney Crosby. “Yeah, well I guess this is […]

Unger Games

Ovechkin on Pace to Smash Gretzky’s All-Time Points Record by the Year 2055

April 6, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Alex Ovechkin is now on pace to shatter the only record that really matters – career points. And the 39-year-old intends to stick around long enough to do so. “I’ll be in my […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ovechkin Accidentally Passes the Puck

April 1, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC On the verge of breaking the all-time goal-scoring record in the NHL, Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals, accidentally passed the puck last night. “Ugh, an assist,” said Ovechkin. “What the hell am […]

Unger Games

Blue Jays Grounds Crew Scrambles to Clean Up All the Friendship Bracelets Remaining from Last Fall’s Taylor Swift Concerts

March 27, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Blue Jays staff have been working overtime getting Rogers Centre in tip top shape for their opening day tilt against the Baltimore Orioles. Most pressing for the staff was cleaning up the hundreds […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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