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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

New ‘Plandemic’ Doc is the Comedy Smash Hit of the Season

May 8, 2020 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA It’s the number one comedy blockbuster of the spring: Plandemic! Starring the hilarious new comedy talent Judy Mikovits, who rivals Tina Fey and Melissa McCarthy in her rolling-on-the-floor laugh-out-loud hilarity. “I haven’t laughed […]

Unger Suspicion

“It was the most peculiar name we could come up with”: Elon Musk and Grimes Name New Baby ‘Corny’

May 7, 2020 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA Corny Musk was welcomed into the world last night, weighing in at a healthy three bags of knackzoat and two watermelon rinds. When his parents were asked why they gave their child […]

Unger Suspicion

The Top Ten Best Pandemic Pick-Up Lines

May 5, 2020 Andrew

The pandemic is certainly making things more difficult, romance-wise. I think we’re all grateful we won’t have to attend any weddings this summer, but it would be nice to at least know there are some […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Gun Enthusiasts Relieved that Covid-19s Were Left Off Trudeau’s List

May 2, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON There was one noticeable item missing from Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s list of more than 1500 banned weapons, that being the highly dangerous Covid-19. “Darn it all. I told Freeland to check […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Birds Blissfully Unaware of Global Pandemic

April 18, 2020 Andrew

SPRINGSTEIN, MB More than a dozen robins and two crows congregated on Mrs. Loewen’s yard this week, seemingly blissfully unaware that anything unusual was going on. “I mean I guess Mrs. Loewen’s lawn looks a […]

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