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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeger Super Jealous of All the Attention Brandon’s Been Getting Lately

November 8, 2021 Andrew

BRANDON, MB One resident of Manitoba’s largest city is sick and tired of all the support arch-rival Brandon’s been getting as of late. “Everyone’s all ‘Let’s go Brandon, let’s go!” explained hurt U of W […]

Unger Suspicion

Heather Stefanson Finds Huge Mound of Zoat Left Over in Premier’s Office

November 2, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After two months in office, Manitoba’s first Mennonite premier sure knacked a lot of zoat. This, according to new premier Heather Stefanson, who had to hire a backhoe to remove all of Kelvin […]

Unger Suspicion

Jets Change Time of December 5 Game to Accommodate Faspa

October 27, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After it was discovered that the Winnipeg Blue Bombers’ home playoff game on Sunday December 5 was in direct conflict with the Jets game at the same time, it became immediately clear that […]

Unger Suspicion

Evander Kane Caught with Fake Low German Vaccine Sticker

October 20, 2021 Andrew

SAN JOSE, CA Troubled San Jose Sharks forward Evander Kane is facing suspension this week after being caught with a totally fake Plautdietsch vaccine sticker. “I picked it up in Fresno,” said Kane in his […]

Unger Suspicion

Netflix Finally Allows Young People to See that ‘Seinfeld’ is Way Better than ‘Friends’

October 13, 2021 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN For the millions of young people too young to really remember the 90s, the chance to finally see Seinfeld has blown more than a few minds. “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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