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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Controversial Politician Supports Mandatory Vacations

September 18, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A controversial candidate in the Winkler area has come out in favour of mandatory vacations, a plan that shockingly includes vacations even for dairy farmers. “We have to think of the health of […]

Unger Suspicion

Newlyweds Excited to Rip Each Other’s Masks Off in the Hotel Room Later Today

September 15, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Allan Wiebe and Lydia Brandt were married at the EMCB church this afternoon and are excited to rip off their masks at the Days Inn after the reception. “We started dating last spring, […]

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Pantsers Demand Their Constitutional Rights

September 13, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Thousands of angry anti-pantsers invaded Leamington this week and decided to dine at local restaurants without sporting any bottoms whatsoever. “I’ve never had to use so much Lysol in all my life,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Medical Experts Predict Fourth Wave of False Analogies

September 3, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Newly-released modelling suggests a coming fourth wave of false analogies sometime this fall. “If we don’t get things under control, we’re going to have a huge surge of folks comparing getting a needle […]

Unger Suspicion

Pallister to Live Out the Rest of His Days in Quaint Central American Colony

September 2, 2021 Andrew

BLUE CREEK COLONY, BELIZE A mix-up in paperwork had former Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister arriving at a conservative Mennonite colony in Belize, rather than the resort in Costa Rica he had intended. “Oba, waut on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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